an emotional diary of one very insignificant teenager in a big, blind world

Thursday, 29 October 2015

Will Grayson, Will Grayson Quote

This is the quote most suited for a funeral that wasn't actually written for a funeral.
[Typography done by me]

Friday, 23 October 2015

Home Arrest

Door is shut.
Sentenced to home arrest.
Feet are pacing
Fingers tracing
The power's arabesque—

No school. They did it because they could.
Flexed their tiny muscles 'cause it felt so good.

In solitary.
Can only look at the sky.
I don't think
I've even blinked

my eyes.

Tuesday, 20 October 2015

La Donna e Mobile

My God, I love you.
Want you.
I imagine your skin, warm,
Calloused, rubbing my hands on the flaws
Until they are sore.

The haze lifts on my world.
For minutes
Hours, sometimes—
And then the feeling fades.
I’m out on the road again,
The grey by my feet made.

I cannot see anything:
The fog is so thick
I can’t even notice that
I cut my left foot on a brick. 

The sun is so red.
I look at it without reverence
It leaves us, deceives us
Expects deference

Do the roses sway in the wind? Does the dew on them run?
Are they even roses, or the aftertaste of the sun?

And then I’ll see another,
Who knocks me off my track.

I hope, for all your sakes
That you never love me back.

Friday, 9 October 2015

Sky

Blue
So blue.
Sunlight allots me a few furtive dapples.

I bathe in them, 
smiling quietly.

Monkey On The Field

Look!
she says
And there, navigating the confluence
Of metal pipes safeguarding our football field
Monkey.

The world shines a little brighter;
I know not why.

Thursday

The maths worksheet was happy, orwellian yellow.
Everything is a lullaby: it fills my head with sand
It pulls at my hair, every single strand—

Lukewarm

My heart’s
lukewarm
with anaesthesia.

Call me a monster
and maybe I’ll reward you 
with a flinch:

To the Sahara-oven
or Arctic-fridge
I cannot travel.

I’m tired.
So bland—
A smile, a jump,
people believe you’re alive.

Amoral
Amortal
A portal—
A bed.

Lead me to the world of my head.

Fogworld

Day is a white night—
Eyes flit about, searching for light, salvation
But nothing.
White studio background.

Winter on the equator.
Oh, it is so silent on the hill.